At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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