it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize