You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
