I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
