if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
