I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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