I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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