thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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