I CAN MOONWALK!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
