even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
