Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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