and you said cock pushups were impossible
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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