You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize