I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
