I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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