So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
BRING THE BAGELS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
