oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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