I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize