I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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