I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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