lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize