good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
