2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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