He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
