the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
should my penis look like a turkey
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
