SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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