Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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