I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Success! We fucked roommates!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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