OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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