are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ok first of all what the fuck
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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