What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
