Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
