No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
