I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize