she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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