I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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