i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
