If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
