btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
