I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
