It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
