People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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