yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
