I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
