I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
