So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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