She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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