I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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