Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
