it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
