I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
