can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
