ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
