i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
