Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
