she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
