At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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