So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
