His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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