i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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