I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
