she woke up with a sticky ear
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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