Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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