Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
