quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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