i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize