Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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