I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
