Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
