Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
