two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
