the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
