Someone shit on the floor
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
