Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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